THE DIVORCE PROCESS

There are three distinct phases in a divorce. They are:

Settlement Phase. Mediation assists you in developing agreements on all the many issues which must be decided when divorcing. Those agreements will be detailed in writing in your Agreement After Mediation (AAM) in easy to understand language. Your mediator drafts your AAM.

It is important that you review the AAM with your individual attorneys before signing. You will receive lots of legal information in mediation but legal advice can only come from your individual consulting attorney. A wisely chosen attorney will advise you about the law and your rights, and will review your AAM with you. Buying an hour or so of an attorney’s time is a minimal investment given the important decisions you are making.



Initial Legal Phase. In order to begin the waiting period imposed by the law (60 days if you do not have children, 180 days if you do), one of you must file Complaint for Divorce documents with the court. The person who files is called the Plaintiff and the other spouse is the Defendant. (The Plaintiff must also make a brief appearance in court to have the divorce finalized). Your attorney can prepare the Complaint documents or, if you feel comfortable doing so, you can prepare them yourself from forms obtainable in a “Do It Yourself Divorce Kit” from Target Forms at 1-800-258-0258.

Final Legal Phase. After you have completed mediation and signed your AAM, a Judgment of Divorce must be prepared by your attorney and signed by your judge. The Judgment will incorporate the terms of your AAM but will also have many provisions which are required by law. Although required, these provisions can sometimes sound like “legalese” and be difficult to understand. Only the attorney for one of you (usually the Plaintiff) can draft your Judgment.

Thus, there are three documents, or sets of documents, associated
with a divorce:
1. Agreement After Mediation (AAM);
2. Complaint for Divorce; and
3. Judgment of Divorce.

There is no “right” way to begin your divorce process. Some people want to resolve the Settlement Phase first so they delay entering the legal arena until after their AAM is signed. Others want to get the waiting period started and work on mediating the terms of their agreement during this 60 or 180 day period. Consider which option will further your goal of working collaboratively during this difficult period and discuss, directly or in mediation, which option feels most comfortable to you both. In addition, choose an attorney carefully who will assist you in your goals. The Berrien Association of Mediators has a list of attorneys who understand mediation and will work with you on a cooperative basis while you mediate.